speakgirl:

melissikins:

I am on ambien for insomnia and sometimes the ambien gets the better of me. Last night was one of those nights. I was ambien-drunk and at 1AMish decided to steal a neighbor’s anti-choice sign. I was making a break for it, but my roommate was like, ‘no, wait, you’re not wearing pants!’ 

‘Fuck it,’ said I. ‘I don’t need pants for this.’

‘No, you do,’ she said. ‘You really do.’ And she made me put on pants. Then, she made me put on shoes. Then, I totally stole the shit out of that sign.

Remember kids: friends don’t let friends steal anti-choice signs pantsless.

I used to call Avery while on ambien all the time. From what I can remember, I frequently obsessed over whether or not the tinman was a robot.